Insecurities

My own interpretation of insecurities : something you think you're lacking, envious of the person who has it, and it makes you feel down, becoming someone who lack self confidence.

I trust that everyone of you, especially us girls, ada masing-masing punya insecurities. This, includes me. So today I want to share with you my insecurities and how I overcome them, not that I managed to completely overcome them but, yea.

Friends

I bukan jenis mulut becok yang senang to get friendly with other people, especially yang baru kenal so I don't really have many friends, thus I'm not in the 'popular' group (I think everyone wants to be in such group of people).

After some time, I realized it's a bless to have few friends who's always been there for you masa you susah dan senang, instead of a bunch fake friends yang cuma nak ambil kesempatan dengan you (read : masa susah, cari, bila senang, tinggal).

p/s : I love you guys, Jiha, Husna, Alia, Najwa and Muni.

Study

Masa zaman uni, I bukan one of those yang pandai, having As for design class, plus lecturers pon asyik kutuk my design. I always, repeat, ALWAYS, compare myself to the As students, which made me felt useless.

Then I sedar tahap kepandaian I and realized that I wouldn't able to beat those As students, so instead of comparing my grades with them, I challenged my old self instead. Let's say if I got B for the particular semester, I work hard to beat that B (in term of marks) rather than terus nak dapat A. Well, I improved a lot when I finally had that mindset.

Appearance

I'm chubby, so I'm envious of those yang kurus langsing macam lidi. Pimples on my face made me envious of those who are flawless. I'm short, not even reach 5' so I'm jealous of those who are tall, having model-like figure. Having no boys trying to approach me (in a more than friend manner) also made me think that I'm hideous.

Growing up, I started to have this habit of keep telling myself that I indeed am beautiful. I mean, I can't expect people to notice my beauty if I don't feel it myself. To hell with boys, I make myself look beautiful (read : having make up on) to boast my self confidence, and I succeeded.

I learned to love myself instead. I find it to be the most critical point to boast one's self confidence. When you learn to love yourself, you'll appreciate yourself more and started to live life in a more positive manner. This, is what I'm having currently and I'm happy with it.

So do you have any insecurities? How do you handle them?

Till then,

Lya.