Twenty-Five and Single

"You're a woman now, when are you getting married?"

"You're so pretty, don't you have a boyfriend? Why?" -does it sound too unbelievable when I say no, I don't have a boyfriend? because they kept saying that I'm lying.

A typical grown-up lady who is still single like me would get a lot of questions on boyfriends and marriage around this time during Eid as we're meeting relatives who we rarely met. Another friend of mine also got hitched during Eid and I could see friends who were married earlier even brought along their children to the wedding. At this sight and stressful marriage questions, again and again, I started to ask myself, 'is marriage an achievement in life that people kept pushing me to do it?' which leads to the question, 'am I so not attractive that no boys wanted to approach me?'

My last relationship was when I was 18 years old and that was 7 years ago. Being a girl, obviously, I don't really have the upper hand in finding a partner. Men could start the move on a girl and considered cool even if the girl rejected him but a girl, on the other hand, might get a lifetime embarrassment if being rejected, or at least that's what I've felt -yeap, I once confessed to a boy and I was being humiliated by that a-hole. To be in love, to have a partner in life is a natural desire of a human being and not having that for 7 years then being asked "why don't you have a boyfriend yet" really pissed me off. Erm, because no boys wanted me? Duh.

No one would want to end up not being married, or maybe if he/she really doesn't want to get married, believe me, he/she still want to have a partner whom they could have a conversation with about the weather for a daily routine. So honestly, to a twenty-five years old single lady like me who'd like to get married and has so many friends that got married already, such questions are very sensitive.

Here's an honest thought; I might sometimes feel lonely having no boyfriend but actually, I have no problem being single. I'm currently enjoying myself to the fullest being single, having the freedom to wake up in the morning as whenever I want, doesn't have to do the cooking which I hate the most, to go anywhere I want and do whatever I want to do without someone monitoring and controlling my life. I also do have close friends who are still single so I still have someone to talk to at 2:00am -couldn't imagine what'd happen when even they got married, sobs.

Maybe it's because I don't have a boyfriend yet but to me, marriage would always, always be the last thing I wanted to do in my life and maybe in ten years time, I'll publish a post entitled, "Thirty-Five and Still Single"? Anyway, I hope people could stop asking me such questions. To some, maybe it's just a simple question but to me, it's annoyingly made me feel like I'm such a loser so I hate it.

Soz not soz for this post is getting nowhere and it's just me ranting about what I feel.

Till then,
Lya.